I've Heard Rules About No Shoes and No Shirt.....But No Pants?

I planned on blogging about other things, but I know a good blog story when I see one.

I gave my house key to a friend to watch the dogs while my family was away. I got the key back, but failed to put it on my keyring. I got home tonight about midnight. The front door was locked.

No problem. This had happened before. I went around to the side and dropped my things, including my laptop (which I tried super hard to lower to the ground as far as could be), over the fence. Then I started to climb.

I was wearing gaucho pants. For many who have seen "Never Been Kissed," you probably know that gaucho pants are very wide-legged pants that are almost like a skirt. Their particular fabric makes them very flowy.

Gaucho pants do not make good climbing pants. I got one leg over the fence and had a hard time getting the rest of the way over. But I had done this before. So I tried a new tactic. I kicked off my flip flops so my feet could more easily fit into the holes on the chainlink fence.

That was a bad idea. While my feet fit in more easily, I could not get a good grip. The fence would get me between the toes and it just plain hurt doing it that way. I decided to abandon my fence climb, but upon getting down I realized my gaucho pants were stuck in about two or three places.

So there I was, my body bent over the top of the fence. I was stuck. I pulled and maneuvered my pants off the chain link structure and got down. But I was still outside the fence. I got an idea. If I took my pants off they couldn't get stuck. Now, as a 10-year-old I was the only one I know of in my gym class who refused to do summersaults for fear of breaking my neck. Trust me, climbing this fence brought similar concerns. Yes, I pray when I climb fences, which is not often. All that to say, I could just imagine my family finding me the next morning in my underwear, wondering how on earth it all happened.

But still, I wanted to get inside. I went to the front door and rang the doorbell many times. No answer. Calling on my cellphone was a good idea. Too bad I locked it in my car and had dropped my keys over the fence with my things. We have no neighbor on one side of our house, so I did what any Frederick might do. I went around the house and took off my pants.

In the light of the moon I attempted to climb the fence in my underwear. I knew better than to drop my pants on the other side of the fence, so I held onto them with a firm bite. It didn't work. I had one flip flop that I had dropped outside the fence, but the climb hurt my other bare foot so much. So I put my pants back on and rang the doorbell more. No answer. I began to think my parents were trying to teach me a lesson.

Fine, I would try again. I had bent the fence on my first climbing attempt of the night(Heh...heh....dad, think of it as a memory maker), but I wanted to get in and if they weren't gonna answer the door I needed to find a way.

I went back to the side of the house and took my pants off again. By the light of the moon I again attempted to climb the fence in my underwear. I tried putting the flip flop on the wrong foot, because that was the one that took the most force when I tried to get the rest of my body over the fence. I couldn't do it, my bare foot hurt too bad.

I put my pants back on and weighed my options. I could put the flip flop on my right foot, get my leg over and transfer the shoe to my left. Or I could ring the doorbell. I opted for the latter. But as I was walking back to the front door I decided I should just knock on the bathroom window. I did, it set the dogs off, and got my mom to the front door.

"Sorry." I told my mom and slipped inside.

And that, my friends, is the story of the first time I took my pants off and tried to climb a fence.