So I thought I would post another entry for the day. This one has to do with something a lot of people probably can't relate to. I get way too involved in my books.
Yesterday I finished book 5 in the Firstborn Series by Karen Kingsbury. Apart from the horribly cheesy lines about being so in love that you find yourself in that place of butterflies, the characters lives seem pretty amazing. I sometimes feel jealous. Ridiculous? Blame my imagination.
In fact today I was thinking about what it would be like to give up urban ministry and move to a suburb somewhere like Bloomington. It wasn't just what-if thinking, it was wishful thinking in many ways.
I mean, every character gets to fall in love! Then there's the fact of Katy Hart and how her job is directing plays starring the town's children. Then there's Ashley who doesn't even have to work, she gets to play with her son and paint. Everybody loves their job!
Ok, obviously that last paragraph was sarcastic, but there are feelings of wishing I could have that life; as if nothing else could be as good as that ficticious world Kingsbury created.Why does Katy get to be beautiful and find love just when she needs it? And if the Baxters are living in the amazement of God's will in a middle class world, why can't I? Is the happiest life really raising your kids in a "perfect" town like Bloomington?
I'm serious, I can feel a little depressed when I realize I can't meet these people or have that life. I even wondered if I should read the next installment of the series. I mean, will it just be that much harder to finish the storyline then instead of now?
Of course this is nothing new. When I read the O'Malley series by Dee Henderson and found out there was going to be one less book in the series than I thought, I cried. And I also cried in the ninth grade because I didn't have the Melissa Gilbert version of the Little House on the Prairie life. Where was my Almanzo and why did I have to do algebra homework, Laura probably didn't have to, or so I thought.
But then I thought of all the things I love now that I couldn't do in the 19th century. However, the whole Bloomington situation is set in present time, so couldn't I try to find a life like it?I mean, when I fall in love with characters, I really fall in love with them. Maybe that's one of the things that aids me as a writer. But honestly, I go through some emotions with some of these books. Can anyone relate?
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Happy Birthday Erin
Today is my best friend's 25th birthday. 25 doesn't seem old to most people and truth me told, it doesn't seem too old to me. I'm sure there are plenty of people who would roll their eyes or smirk at the fact that my friends and I can so easily marvel at this mid-twenties mark, but I'm sure they felt at least some of the same when their lives crossed paths with one age or another.
Erin and I marveled over how it had been 5 years since the group of us kidnapped her after convincing her we had no money to celebrate her birthday. We swept her away to dinner and a movie.
Erin, my friend, it's also been 6 years since you got sammy. :)So I've been thinking some about Teach for America.....more on that in the future, I'm sure.
Erin and I marveled over how it had been 5 years since the group of us kidnapped her after convincing her we had no money to celebrate her birthday. We swept her away to dinner and a movie.
Erin, my friend, it's also been 6 years since you got sammy. :)So I've been thinking some about Teach for America.....more on that in the future, I'm sure.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Another Delay- ARG
So my mom's flight got canceled for a second time. She is now on a late flight directly from Raleigh to Chicago. Please, please pray that the weather is ok and she is able to make a safe flight. We're already missing out on two days of doing things because of the delays, so I think I am gonna see if I can take off another day of work on Friday when I work with the women's program, though I wanted to take off as little as possible, but I wan time to show my mom around the city. Here's hoping she gets in tomorrow!
Humbled, Yet Encouraged
I write this entry with excitement after the dissapointment earlier. My mom's flight into Chicago got cancelled so she's supposed to fly in tomorrow. Before she had a direct flight, but now she has to fly to DC then out to Chicago. I am a little concerned about this as DC is supposed to be seeing snow. So please pray that she can get here!
So Friday I got some new experience with the women's program and I am so excited about that. I got to talk to the director and the very next day I was informed that I needed to start devotions. I immediately was concerned over this instruction as I had not prepared for it. But what could I do? I had asked for more involvement and I got it.
Every devotion I have heard starts with the facilitator leading the women in a song. Now for many people this would be no big feat, but for me it was a serious area of concern. I don't even like to share hymnals in church because I don't want people to hear my voice that closely. I know, I know...the Bible says make a joyful NOISE, but I really struggle with being distracted during worship about people hearing my voice.
Thank goodness one of the newer residents suggested a song and agreed to start it. As the song began I quickly flipped through the Bible trying to find something to talk about. I decided on Hebrews 12:28-29, since they are some of my favorite verses. I'm sure I prayed for the right words and praise the Lord, they came.
Charlene or Brenda always speak with such boldness and conviction during devotions. I was pretty sure the same wouldn't hold true for the words I was going to share. But then something amazing happened- the words came tumbling out. I was confident and bold in what I was saying and I realize that's because I wasn't coming up with the words. It is incredibly obvious that God was speaking through me.
During my trip to Belize over Christmas break God showed me that teaching is one of my spiritual gifts. Then I went to a 2-day conference that confirmed it. After I spoke different people told me they enjoyed it or that I did well. Now please understand- I don't say that to brag and be like, "Look at me! I can teach!" I say that because it was further evidence of the gift God has given me. As I look back over my life I can see instances in which God was showing me he has given me teaching as a gift, it just took my human mind a long time to figure it out.
If I at all sound prideful I want to share something that happened later that night that would take away any pride I might have had. My friend Melanie drove me home from Moody where my key had fallen out of my bag. Not figuring this out till we were already heading toward my apartment, I decided to look for it again when I got there and could stand up. Nothing.I called Dave and Jossie, whom I rent from, but they didn't answer and were out of town anyway due to the leftover smoke from the fire nextdoor. I tried to call another girl I work with because somehow it just felt better to bother someone my age at midnight than anybody else. No luck.
Finally I decided to call my supervisor, Marcie. Now the only reason I would have called them is because they opened up their house to me in the nights right after the fire. I felt like a real moron as the senior program director answered the phone after he had obviously been asleep.
Now I thought about how it looked. Intern from the country calls her supervisors at midnight when they were sleeping because she doesn't have anywhere to stay, even though she rents an apartment (yes, I could have stayed with Melanie, but I didn't want to ask her cause she had plans for the next morning and had been so helpful already). But thankfully they allowed me to stay in their spare bedroom, but I felt like a complete moron.
Well, I'm gonna be wishing the hours away at work tomorrow until I get off and go meet my mom at the airport. I'm excited about this week!
So Friday I got some new experience with the women's program and I am so excited about that. I got to talk to the director and the very next day I was informed that I needed to start devotions. I immediately was concerned over this instruction as I had not prepared for it. But what could I do? I had asked for more involvement and I got it.
Every devotion I have heard starts with the facilitator leading the women in a song. Now for many people this would be no big feat, but for me it was a serious area of concern. I don't even like to share hymnals in church because I don't want people to hear my voice that closely. I know, I know...the Bible says make a joyful NOISE, but I really struggle with being distracted during worship about people hearing my voice.
Thank goodness one of the newer residents suggested a song and agreed to start it. As the song began I quickly flipped through the Bible trying to find something to talk about. I decided on Hebrews 12:28-29, since they are some of my favorite verses. I'm sure I prayed for the right words and praise the Lord, they came.
Charlene or Brenda always speak with such boldness and conviction during devotions. I was pretty sure the same wouldn't hold true for the words I was going to share. But then something amazing happened- the words came tumbling out. I was confident and bold in what I was saying and I realize that's because I wasn't coming up with the words. It is incredibly obvious that God was speaking through me.
During my trip to Belize over Christmas break God showed me that teaching is one of my spiritual gifts. Then I went to a 2-day conference that confirmed it. After I spoke different people told me they enjoyed it or that I did well. Now please understand- I don't say that to brag and be like, "Look at me! I can teach!" I say that because it was further evidence of the gift God has given me. As I look back over my life I can see instances in which God was showing me he has given me teaching as a gift, it just took my human mind a long time to figure it out.
If I at all sound prideful I want to share something that happened later that night that would take away any pride I might have had. My friend Melanie drove me home from Moody where my key had fallen out of my bag. Not figuring this out till we were already heading toward my apartment, I decided to look for it again when I got there and could stand up. Nothing.I called Dave and Jossie, whom I rent from, but they didn't answer and were out of town anyway due to the leftover smoke from the fire nextdoor. I tried to call another girl I work with because somehow it just felt better to bother someone my age at midnight than anybody else. No luck.
Finally I decided to call my supervisor, Marcie. Now the only reason I would have called them is because they opened up their house to me in the nights right after the fire. I felt like a real moron as the senior program director answered the phone after he had obviously been asleep.
Now I thought about how it looked. Intern from the country calls her supervisors at midnight when they were sleeping because she doesn't have anywhere to stay, even though she rents an apartment (yes, I could have stayed with Melanie, but I didn't want to ask her cause she had plans for the next morning and had been so helpful already). But thankfully they allowed me to stay in their spare bedroom, but I felt like a complete moron.
Well, I'm gonna be wishing the hours away at work tomorrow until I get off and go meet my mom at the airport. I'm excited about this week!
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Simple Encouragement
Well, today was an emotional day. By the end of preschool I felt worn out and wanted to get away. I went home and got a little bit of time to myself. Then my weekly meeting with one of my supervisors came around.
The poor guy probably had a million thoughts going through his head such as, "What have I gotten myself into?" As I sat there talking about the past week I started to cry! You know those times when you don't realize how much something affects you until you vocalize it and you feel the threat of tears? It was kind of like that.
I believe I am where God wants me, but that doesn't make the path always easy. Ok....before I write this next part I want to add something funny. I am watching American Idol while I write this and a girl is singing, "All By Myself." That is too funny because I was just about to say how I feel kind of lonely because no one who really knows me well is out here in Chicago. Now that I had a wonderful soundtrack for that comment, I can't help but chuckle.
Wow. Just a simple song made me smile. If songs from composers you don't know can move you, imagine what an encouraging word from a friend can do? Makes me think twice about what I say.
The poor guy probably had a million thoughts going through his head such as, "What have I gotten myself into?" As I sat there talking about the past week I started to cry! You know those times when you don't realize how much something affects you until you vocalize it and you feel the threat of tears? It was kind of like that.
I believe I am where God wants me, but that doesn't make the path always easy. Ok....before I write this next part I want to add something funny. I am watching American Idol while I write this and a girl is singing, "All By Myself." That is too funny because I was just about to say how I feel kind of lonely because no one who really knows me well is out here in Chicago. Now that I had a wonderful soundtrack for that comment, I can't help but chuckle.
Wow. Just a simple song made me smile. If songs from composers you don't know can move you, imagine what an encouraging word from a friend can do? Makes me think twice about what I say.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
A Lack of Action
I had my chai tea and found a place to sit in the earthtone room. Settling into the couch and propping my feet upon a plush stool that could double as a chair, I began to read.
A few items lay on the stool next to mine and when he came back I realized they were his. He didn't smell good and he certainly didn't buy that alchohol from Starbucks, but he filled a cheap, plastic takeout cup with it anyway.
The man on the other side eventually walked away. I stayed put. I felt good about myself. I felt good that I finished my book while sitting next to the man.
But did I ever talk to him? No. I didn't even ask his name.
Will I learn something more from this than how to post a blog entry?
A few items lay on the stool next to mine and when he came back I realized they were his. He didn't smell good and he certainly didn't buy that alchohol from Starbucks, but he filled a cheap, plastic takeout cup with it anyway.
The man on the other side eventually walked away. I stayed put. I felt good about myself. I felt good that I finished my book while sitting next to the man.
But did I ever talk to him? No. I didn't even ask his name.
Will I learn something more from this than how to post a blog entry?
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