Broken Heart?

The summer I turned 14 I had quite the crush on this guy who came down every summer to visit his grandparents down the street. Maybe I thought I had a big secret, but I'm pretty sure my whole family knew.

He had been visiting for about 2 weeks each summer for quite a few years. The routine was generally the same. My brother David and I would watch Little House on the Prairie and then we would meet up with Justin and another neighbor for hours of playing war outside, using various backyards for battleground. As the years past I stopped seeing so much of a fun kid that came around and I inevitably developed the young teenage crush.

As the years went on my brother was very attuned to what was going on and made it a point to mention to my parents and me when he noticed our friend look at me a certain way or do anything to indicate someone might like his little sister.

At my 14th birthday party he came, present in hand. When I opened up a silver-colored necklace my heart jumped off rhythm for just a second. I couldn't believe it! He had gotten me a present! He later informed me his grandma made him bring a present to my birthday party, which now makes me laugh.

When I blew out the candles on my cake I wished that I could kiss him. Now do believe me, that was a huge growing up step in my young life. While I may have been more mature than others my age in some areas of life, I was quite behind when it came to boys, and makeup, and "typical teenage things." Wanting to hold onto my "secret," when my best friend asked me what I wished for I said, "To read every book in the world." That wasn't too far from a wish I probably would have made. She said I should have wished for something more practical.

Maybe it was that summer or maybe it was another, but Justin had just left. I rode my bike around and around the cul-de-sac that made up so much of my childhood and I felt sad. I wondered to myself, "Is this what it feels like to have a broken heart?"

A couple hours later I was probably off doing something else, the thoughts from before barely even registering in my mind.

No, I never kissed the boy and I'm not sure where he is now. Last I heard he was in Annapolis and had a girlfriend, but that was many years ago. His grandma passed away a few years after that and eventually someone else moved into that house. Not too long after that my family moved to North Carolina.

As I look at the heartbreaks that came in later years, I see how gracious God was to let me be introduced to that kind of pain slowly. I also see how faithful God has been in carrying me past all of that pain.

Heartbreaks come now in different ways, but sometimes I just like to remember. Remember a place and time when a crush was the world and 3008 Sherwood Rd was the center of the universe.

Sometimes I think about those growing points in my life and I simply smile.